How Do You Love Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder?

A person with borderline personality disorder finds it hard to regulate their emotions. They have intense emotions, go through extreme mood swings, and often indulge in self-destructive behaviors. All these challenges result in poor self-image, substance abuse, suicidal behaviors, impulsive behaviors, mental health issues, etc. Unfortunately, a common problem for me (and I’m learning many with BPD struggle with this) is that I find myself in a position where relationships become broken and end quite frequently. I struggle to let go, I try to live in the past and I spend lots of time being heartbroken over the loss of a friendship or romantic interest. I’ll continue to listen to songs that remind me of the person, look at pictures of them and even sometimes try to contact them even after the relationship ended.

Like the rest of the world, those with BPD are not perfect. But we must all remember, our capacity for love runs https://www.hookupgenius.com just as deeply as our desire to be loved. For example, I have a habit of internalising and avoiding my emotions.

How to make your case, and how to decide it’s time to leave it alone. You can recognize toxic people by how frequently they complain, devalue, express dislike, and engage in negative gossip. Do not let your embarrassment over not having a romantic partner get in your way of finding one.

People who have borderline personality disorder love relationships know when they are hurting. They are very much in tune with their feelings, a little too much that any event that causes pain and hurt becomes traumatic. There is what we call a borderline personality disorder relationship cycle. This is the cycle of the relationships revolving around the person’s disorder and how they handle the connection.

Are You in Love With Someone Who Has a Personality Disorder?

Treatment won’t cure BPD, but these options can help you learn to cope with the symptoms and react in ways that aren’t as harmful to you or your partner. The last time I went on a date was long before the pandemic began. I’ve been on a “dating sabbatical” since 2018 and I feel pretty indifferent towards the idea of getting back out there. If your partner is being treated for another disorder and that disorder does not fully explain the parameters of her behavior, have the doctor investigate the potential that she has BPD.

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I could be having a petty argument with someone but trying to process that emotion is way heavier with BPD. Getting diagnosed with BPD was heartening in a sense because I realised there was a term for it and other people experienced it, and there was a warmness in that. Even people I know reached out to me to tell me they had it when I shared online that I had it. It was just that sense of community of people who are aware that we’re all really sensitive. But I’m still trying to find myself and trying to find my close group again because, at the end of the day, most people’s friends are just weekend friends.

A borderline person can’t change because the issue is much more deep-rooted and requires a change of mindset which oftentimes only professional help and medication can achieve. You can tell a person has a borderline personality disorder when he or she verbally or non-verbally goes to extremes and struggles to remain calm and collected. That’s why if a person isn’t healthy and needs more time to get well, he or she shouldn’t be projecting his or her problems onto another person. At least not until he or she is emotionally stable, happy, and independent in most areas of life. They think the problem is with their partner, so they continuously blame their partners for their mistakes and switch back and forth from a loving and caring person to a hateful and vengeful one.

For starters, safe spaces like Reddit’s /BPDlovedones have provided a place where I can ease my festering guilt by reading posts from others in the same boat. “If you don’t have BPD, it’s very difficult to understand the other person’s perspective,” he said. “Remember, you’re doing this from the position of you being an emotionally well-regulated person and it is exceptionally difficult to imagine what it’s like not to be an emotionally well-regulated person. Becky has been offered CBT many times, but with each therapist, she flitted in and out of courses without putting in the work, or simply didn’t show up.

It will help you create a plan to guide them toward their desired treatment outcomes. Have a client struggling with intrusive or unhelpful thoughts but don’t know where to start? Our CBT Thought Record is a perfect jumping-off point to introduce your clients to thinking about thinking and dipping their toes into the hugely beneficial concepts of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Some research work indicates that women are three times more likely than men to have the diagnosis. Other workers say there is no difference in incidence between males and females. The causative factors are obviously likely to be multiple, ranging from certain structural abnormalities in the brain to environmental factors such as early childhood trauma. Borderline personality disorder is a serious mental health condition.

People with borderline personality disorder are not bad people

In the DSM-5, symptoms of BPD include intense, unstable, and conflicted personal relationships. Research has confirmed that people with BPD tend to have very stormy romantic relationships characterized by a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. They may be having a hard time putting emotions into words, or they may be fearing you leave, so it feels easier to end the relationship before you do. Eople with covert narcissistic and borderline personality disorders tend to have frequent and problematic relationships. The need for fulfillment from others means they usually continue to pursue relationships, though some choose to avoid relationships altogether. Because of trauma, individuals develop ways to cope with symptoms like these out of necessity.

Despite their complex disorder, they can offer you so much if you just let them. However, a strong sense of personal boundaries is a must. We all have different experiences, and people with BPD are the same. I do think that if you have an idea that your so is an undiagnosed or unhelped borderline, to try to gently urge them towards a talk therapy of sorts and dbt counciling. By the way, am in a well-functioning and good relationship with a man who loves me for who I am. Openness and communication are always better than perception and speculation.

It’s important to know that you cannot change someone else’s personality, but you may be able to manage the relationship. This is especially important to know if you have a family member or other close person who will be remaining in your life despite their difficult behavior. Borderline personality disorder in women may differ from men regarding the effects on relationships. Studies have found that women with borderline personality disorder relationship have greater chances of having short-term relationships.

Learn how to use the FLACC Pain Scale to assess pain in pediatric patients. Download a free FLACC scale PDF template for quick reference. Monitor and track patient health with a Daily Symptom Survey, a valuable tool for assessing symptoms and improving clinical outcomes in your practice. We have provided a BPD Treatment Plan Sample below to improve your understanding of its content and how to complete it.

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